I've recently become somewhat obsessed with yoga.
I'm kind of an anxious young lady. I really have nothing to stress about. Things are great.
But I started a new/old job a few weeks ago and I think because I've worked there before, I forget that I'm new. And I say to my friends "I feel anxious. I don't know why." And then they remind of this.
So smart. Those friends of mine.
And during the more anxiety-ridden times in my life, my drug of choice has always been working out.
Well, not always. Back when I could actually handle alcohol, a bottle of wine was my solution to a break-up or other some such upsetting activity.
I'm far from an expert on the yoga mat. I know my savasana from my chaturanga and I've got a mean triangle pose, but I lose my footing in warrior one and topple over pretty much all the time.
Plus, I have 90 year-old hips that refuse to do what I tell them to. Such as move, for example.
But my inner yogi hit a whole new level of non-enlightment a few weeks ago when I sustained an injury of the least-sexy-possible variety.
I'm not sure that's proper grammar but whatever.
Now, when you limp around telling people you had an injury at the gym, most people assume it's some sort of super bad-ass injury. Like I bench-pressed a dishwasher.
But not Lindsay. Nope. I find a really embarrassing way to injure myself. By wiping out in a puddle.
And now, a public service announcement, if you will.
If you spill the entire contents of a spray bottle on the floor of the yoga room, please do not go to Japan for a towel to clean it up. It's dangerous. Clean it up immediately. Otherwise, people like me slip and fall in it and jam their foot under a glass door, where foots should not go, and blood goes everywhere and it hurts and you can't walk for two days or bend your foot for two weeks.
Not to mention, the contents of said spray bottle was alcohol. So I had to limp home smelling like an alcoholic.
Which wouldn't be the first time.
But those other times I was probably 23 and that kind of thing is expected when you're 23. Duh.
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7 comments:
Ha! I mean funny writing, not funny that you broke your foot.
I feel like a wine yoga class would be a money maker.
Discuss.
Obviously, the spray bottle culprit was not an enlightened yogi. they were a selfish, thoughtless idiot who was overly eager not to (god forbid) miss any freakin' poses.
I too am very into yoga and it definitely helps me with stress and health and all that crap that's supposed to matter. (okay, it does matter, I admit. but whatever.) But I've also learned -- after a long time -- that practicing yoga is also a state of mind. I once read a great quote that said something like: Knowing when not to practice yoga is incredibly yogic. Or some shit like that. IE the idea being, accept the foot thing. Don't stress about it, because you can't change it. I mean, you could seek revenge when you find out the identity of the spray bottle moron. But... not very yogic.
So... try and stay calm and... you could always try an exercise bike. That's what I do when the rest of me can't exercise, usually due to an injury. If you strap your foot into the pedal, you aren't really bending or flexing your foot too much, and use your hamstrings to pull and push the pedals around.
I know that's not very yogic advice, but it's practical advice from one who also needs exercise as a nearly daily form of meds. Without it, for sure I'd be on antidepressants or antianxiety or anti-living meds.
Good luck. I will now be much more careful when walking around that yoga room! And I have to admit that usually after class, as I make my way to the door, I often slip slightly in someone's puddle (ugh) of sweat. Who knew yoga was so full of perils?
I lose my footing in Warrior One too. What gives? We're too old for yoga. Let's just have wine and call it a night.
Also, glad you're with me on the romance thing. Phew.
I watched a horrible movie starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson called "Faster." I know, trust me, I am ashamed. Horrible shame aside -- This dude in the movie said the best line ever: I beat yoga.
Take that yoga! That is all.
By the way, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment on my blog!
Sounds a bit like my life. Except that most of the time, I can't find time for yoga... i need night classes!
I wish I could still handle more wine. it would make things so much easier. And more fun. I practice yoga, too. The key word here is PRACTICE because I suck. Despite that? I get very annoyed by jackasses in class, like spillers-of-bottles, owners-of-cell-phones-that-ring-during-downdog, and crowders-of-my-space. I hope whoever was responsible for that mess did some groveling at your bloody foot.
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